Distress

Gentle Readers...

We have waited for the Home Life to return to some sort of acceptable Pace and Occupancy. Instead, we are disillusioned by the Noise, Smell, and Vacancies in this humble abode.

The Chief Scribe has abandoned us to some Place of Higher Learning. We deposited reminders of our silky fur on her Containers of Abandonment in the hopes that she would come to her sense and return. She has been Disobedient. We are not amewsed.

The Malodorous Male Feline remains in Residence. However, I have deigned to let T.O.C. exchange Polite Catly Greetings. There is Hope that we will be able to sway her opinions of MMF and evict him from the favored bed of Repose.

In all matters, we perceive there to be far too much Noise and Camaraderie in this Abode.

Perturbedly,

Polgara
The Duchess Who Outranks Everyone

Strange goings on

Greetings hoomans and RevPetPals...

While I have made sufficient time in my Daily Schedule to blog, I have been thinking very deep thoughts about the Existence of Evil, the Reality of God and the Necessity of Perseverance in Times of Distress.

The Odoriforous male cat is still in residence in My Abode. I tolerate him, but occasionally he must be given a swat of the Royal Paw. I am not his playmate. I am his ruler.

There have been far too many comings and goings in recent days, and now one finds the evil bags-of-doom being filled with clothing and put in the vehicle of terror. I do not approve of my Hoomans going anywhere that I did not suggest.

We shall see if they remember to put out kibble. Particularly, MY trout kibble.

I remain your affectionate
Polgara
The Duchess who outranks everyone

My Royal Throne

My subjects have been most acceptably kind. I shall deign to sit on my royal throne. It is warm and lovely and I DO NOT SHARE IT with anyone.

Especially odoriferous male felines.

Polgara
The Duchess who outranks everyone.

Respect that is due me...

I am pleased.

My subjects have found a proper throne for my royal magnificence. It has a deliciously soft and comfortable cushion, magically heated for my royal paws.

I grant them mini-purrs and a tail twitch of approval.

Should they decide to rid my domicile of other obnoxiously loud felines, they will be rewarded.

Polgara
The Duchess who outranks everyone

Training

I must report that my attempts to train humans and felines in this household for proper respect and deportment are failing miserably. I am most disgusted.

It should be noted that it is NOT appropriate to:

• sniff someone when they are sound asleep
• pat someone's posterior when they are looking the other way
• eat someone's special gourmet kibble since it is all that agrees with a sensitive digestion
• in general, annoy, provoke and laugh at said-provoked personage.

My claws are manicured. I am well-rested since I have found a warm and underutilized space to sleep.

You have been warned!!

Perturbedly,

Her Grace
Polgara
The Duches who outranks everyone

Could it get ANY worse?

Friends, Romans and Countrymen,
Lend me your ears (and paws.)

In my moment of distress, I have come to tell you that my domain is in great disrepair. Not only has an enemy infiltrator been permanently established, but he is in cahoots with the Young Upstart. I do not have a moment's peace.

I sleep on my favorite chair. They bop my tail.
I sleep on my human's desk chair. They play with my ears.
I sleep BETWEEN my humans as they watch the picture screen. They come in and say nasty things about my lineage and then jump up and TRY TO SHARE MY THRONE!

SO today I let them know how I felt.
I made a (ahem) motion on the kitchen floor. AND the carpet. And I expected unanimous approval for my efforts. I did not get it. I was scolded. Loudly.

In my state of mind, can you blame me?

I shall consider how to best punish them for their grave indiscretions...

Most distressedly yours,
Polgara
Her Grace
The Duchess who outranks everyone...

Who is like, totally, in charge, dude.
(There. Do I sound like a Young Upstart now???)

We Are Not Amewsed.

Loyal Subjects.

All is not well in Our Domain. I have been forced into sharing with yet another Young Upstart. This New Catly Presence claims royalty and decrees that he is King Henry.

We Are Not. Amewsed.

And Then.

In attempting to escape some nefarious machine of most cacophonous noise, AND in my desire to not be in company of said animal... I have suffered a most painful indignity. It necessitated incarceration at the Shoppe Of Horrors.

I shall not bore you with my vicissitudes. A lady does not discuss the Issues of her Innermost Being. That would be T.M.I.

Know that I shall return and shall browbeat the lowlifes which insist on infringing on Our Domain. I shall not play "tag" or other infantile diversions. I shall not meme unless I determine it to be of royal importance. Or if there is correction and instruction which is required for said younglings who do Not Respect Their Superiors.

And Now. A rest. For the Trauma of this day has overwhelmed even my stalwart heart.

Cordially
Polgara
Her Grace
The Duchess Who Outranks Everyone