Training

I must report that my attempts to train humans and felines in this household for proper respect and deportment are failing miserably. I am most disgusted.

It should be noted that it is NOT appropriate to:

• sniff someone when they are sound asleep
• pat someone's posterior when they are looking the other way
• eat someone's special gourmet kibble since it is all that agrees with a sensitive digestion
• in general, annoy, provoke and laugh at said-provoked personage.

My claws are manicured. I am well-rested since I have found a warm and underutilized space to sleep.

You have been warned!!

Perturbedly,

Her Grace
Polgara
The Duches who outranks everyone

Could it get ANY worse?

Friends, Romans and Countrymen,
Lend me your ears (and paws.)

In my moment of distress, I have come to tell you that my domain is in great disrepair. Not only has an enemy infiltrator been permanently established, but he is in cahoots with the Young Upstart. I do not have a moment's peace.

I sleep on my favorite chair. They bop my tail.
I sleep on my human's desk chair. They play with my ears.
I sleep BETWEEN my humans as they watch the picture screen. They come in and say nasty things about my lineage and then jump up and TRY TO SHARE MY THRONE!

SO today I let them know how I felt.
I made a (ahem) motion on the kitchen floor. AND the carpet. And I expected unanimous approval for my efforts. I did not get it. I was scolded. Loudly.

In my state of mind, can you blame me?

I shall consider how to best punish them for their grave indiscretions...

Most distressedly yours,
Polgara
Her Grace
The Duchess who outranks everyone...

Who is like, totally, in charge, dude.
(There. Do I sound like a Young Upstart now???)

We Are Not Amewsed.

Loyal Subjects.

All is not well in Our Domain. I have been forced into sharing with yet another Young Upstart. This New Catly Presence claims royalty and decrees that he is King Henry.

We Are Not. Amewsed.

And Then.

In attempting to escape some nefarious machine of most cacophonous noise, AND in my desire to not be in company of said animal... I have suffered a most painful indignity. It necessitated incarceration at the Shoppe Of Horrors.

I shall not bore you with my vicissitudes. A lady does not discuss the Issues of her Innermost Being. That would be T.M.I.

Know that I shall return and shall browbeat the lowlifes which insist on infringing on Our Domain. I shall not play "tag" or other infantile diversions. I shall not meme unless I determine it to be of royal importance. Or if there is correction and instruction which is required for said younglings who do Not Respect Their Superiors.

And Now. A rest. For the Trauma of this day has overwhelmed even my stalwart heart.

Cordially
Polgara
Her Grace
The Duchess Who Outranks Everyone