Could it get ANY worse?

Friends, Romans and Countrymen,
Lend me your ears (and paws.)

In my moment of distress, I have come to tell you that my domain is in great disrepair. Not only has an enemy infiltrator been permanently established, but he is in cahoots with the Young Upstart. I do not have a moment's peace.

I sleep on my favorite chair. They bop my tail.
I sleep on my human's desk chair. They play with my ears.
I sleep BETWEEN my humans as they watch the picture screen. They come in and say nasty things about my lineage and then jump up and TRY TO SHARE MY THRONE!

SO today I let them know how I felt.
I made a (ahem) motion on the kitchen floor. AND the carpet. And I expected unanimous approval for my efforts. I did not get it. I was scolded. Loudly.

In my state of mind, can you blame me?

I shall consider how to best punish them for their grave indiscretions...

Most distressedly yours,
Her Grace
The Duchess who outranks everyone...

Who is like, totally, in charge, dude.
(There. Do I sound like a Young Upstart now???)