Well, we can't have THAT!

It has recently come to our attention that the Young Upstart (Y.U.) is still blogging all sorts of horrible nonsense about our Catship. Ever since that young cat came into the house she's been bugging me. I've been trying to expose the truth in my comments on her blog, but that has proven to be insufficient. As a result, my majesty has spread to the internet (you may pause to bask in my glory). My scribe and court musician will type all my pearls of wisdom as I dictate them.
I suppose I should introduce the members of my Ducal Court to you, my charming subjects. First and foremost in my thoughts is the Alpha Male (Y.U. calls him "Bearded Scritcher"). He loves me and gives me Greenies and treats and place to take naps. His mate is the Scullery Maid (Y.U. calls her "Giver of Greenies"). She makes sure I have food and litter and- most importantly- Greenies! She and Alpha Male have two kittens: the Court Musician and the Unwanted Wuzzler. The Court Musician types my blogs for me, as I said, and plays the harp for my entertainment. The Unwanted Wuzzler is the youngest kitten, and she does many strange things. Sometimes she plays string with me, and other times she tortures me by catching me and warming her paws on my belly.
Well, those are the members of my ducal court. I shall post more later, but the Court Musician refuses to type anymore- some paltry excuse about "homework". Humph... I may as well humor her since she holds the mouse.

I remain, your enchanting ruler,
Polgara, the Duchess who outranks everyone.