Took Her Long Enough!

Hmph. Well, I've finally gotten my Court Musician back under control. She hasn't "had time" to post my mewsings because homework. Again, the lame excuse! I have given her a stern talking-to and she has agreed to being posting again on a more regular schedule.
Certian recent events in Our Domain have upset me a great deal. It's bad enough that Y.U. has taken over the upstairs, but recently she's been invading my den downstairs! My one remaining stronghold has been breached. We are royally ticked!
The interloper spent most of her time down here sucking up to my humans and trying to steal my catnip mouse. Y.U. thought she could stay down here longer, but I informed her otherwise. Stealing my Alpha Male, indeed!
I am preparing to counter her most recent attack with propaganda intended to bring the traitorous members of my Court back to my side. I will focus on the Alpha Male and Scullery Maid. The Alpha Male is MY human, and while he appears to be neutral, I cannot afford to let Y.U. have him. The Scullery Maid is most important from a strategic point of view- she spends most of her time upstairs, in the heart of Y.U.'s territory. If I can turn the Scullery Maid to my side, I shall have a very valuable ally.
I shall carry out my campaign by making them remember who I am! I am a Duchess who outranks everyone, and must be treated as such! I shall demand food befitting my rank, while keeping their loyalty by allowing them to pet me and put me on their laps... So long as they don't warm their cold fingers on me, as the Unwanted Wuzzler does!

This is all that your Duchess has to say for the moment.
Signed, the RULER of the house,
Polgara